Two and a Half Men (season 7)

Charlie bumps into Mia at the coffee shop and she asks Charlie to help her out with some music she has been working on. Charlie initially declines, but then Chelsea says that if he has no feelings for Mia, then he should have no problem helping her out. While working together, Mia makes a move on Charlie - who then tells her he loves Chelsea and leaves Mia for good. Eddie Van Halen has a cameo appearance. Meanwhile, Alan and Melissa officially reunite, and Charlie gets concerned wondering if Melissa is moving in.

When Chelsea convinces Charlie to let Melissa, Alan's girlfriend, move in, the girls take over the house. Charlie angrily leaves the house to stay at a hotel after Alan and Melissa throw a party without asking him; Alan then gets himself kicked out by trying to stand up to Melissa and Chelsea. Alan and Charlie get Evelyn to tell Chelsea that Charlie had previously slept with Melissa - causing the two girls to have a falling out thus giving Charlie and Alan the house back.

Alan plays nursemaid to Judith's baby and her tipsy mother Lenore (Annie Potts) while Judith and Herb try take a "romantic" getaway. Meanwhile, Charlie runs over a cat which he believes to be Chelsea's cat, Sir Lancelot, and Jake takes a photo of the scene to blackmail Charlie in letting him drive his Mercedes. The two later find out that the cat belongs to a large man who lives down the beach.

Sick of not having a place of his own to have sex with Melissa, Alan takes a job working for Evelyn and invites Melissa over to a house he and Evelyn are selling and tells Melissa that he is renting it, but this backfires when Evelyn walks in on them, causing Alan to flee in his underwear which leads to his arrest. Meanwhile, Charlie is fed up with Jake's bad attitude toward Chelsea and forces them to work out their issues alone in hopes that they will bond, but it turns out that it is Charlie's fault that they are not getting along.

While Jake has been learning to drive, Charlie and Alan have been bickering nonstop; when this ultimately embarrasses Jake in front of a group of girls he likes, he refuses to stay with them anymore, and they must find a way to convince him to continue spending weekends at the beach house or face Judith's unparalleled fury. They soon find comfort in using an old relationship book Alan used with Judith; although they ultimately use it when they are both plastered.

Absent: Jennifer Bini Taylor as Chelsea.

Chelsea has been dealing with back pain, and Alan suggests she alleviate the pain with breast reduction surgery. Charlie learns of this and angrily kicks Alan out, and Alan is forced to temporarily move in with Evelyn; meanwhile, Charlie doesn't want Chelsea to go through with the surgery. Eventually, he comes to terms with it, but makes a remark about Chelsea's body that puts her off the idea of surgery. Meanwhile, Evelyn scares Alan away by pampering him by buying him expensive clothes, and then asks him to cater her needs when she is old and crippled.

Evelyn announces that she will take care of Charlie and Chelsea's wedding as a gift, and they finally have a set date; June 26 at the Bel-Air Hotel. Later that night, Charlie and Alan go out drinking and wake up in the same bed with a woman and they can't remember what happened; Charlie doesn't know whether or not to tell Chelsea, and Evelyn's advice settles Charlie's conscience but leaves Chelsea suspicious. Jake and Chelsea have a conversation about Charlie's past flings, which ultimately makes Chelsea extremely uncomfortable.

Chelsea invites her beautiful college roommate, Gail (Tricia Helfer), to stay at the house while she gets over a bad breakup with her boyfriend, Brian. Charlie is struggling to resist his temptations toward Gail and wonders if Chelsea, who has a problem with him not listening, is testing him. Meanwhile, Berta suggests he use Alan's romantic ineptitude to solve the problem which proves successful.

Charlie is upset when he finds out he hasn't been sexually satisfying Chelsea, and contemplates the reasons and tries to solve the problem. It is later revealed that Chelsea has found out that her ex-husband is getting remarried which has somehow affected her sex life. Meanwhile, Alan tries to fix his baldness with a cheap hair product, called Captain Terry's Spray-On Hair and pills that he bought online.

Charlie and Chelsea get into an argument about dancing at the wedding, and the two end up going to dance lessons together, where Charlie finds out Chelsea has been keeping secrets about her finances: she owns multiple properties that she had never mentioned before; making her richer than Charlie, which angers Charlie as she hasn't paid any bill in the house while they have been living together. Alan and Jake watch Alan's old wedding video.

With Celeste (Tinashe), Jake's girlfriend, away for Christmas, Charlie teaches Jake how to cheat on her, but this backfires when Celeste returns moments before Jake arrives with a girl he picked up on the beach, which also lands Charlie in hot water with Chelsea. Meanwhile, Evelyn brings ailing TV personality Marty Pepper (Carl Reiner) to Charlie's Christmas gathering.

Jake is still angry with Charlie about the incident with Celeste, and he decides to write her a love song in an attempt to win her back. Charlie suggest that he try apologizing, which then fails. Charlie then has a heart-to-heart with Jake and explains that the pain will go over time. Meanwhile, Alan and Herb begin to bond after going out to eat together, which angers Judith.

Notes: In the season 7 DVD gag reel, a deleted or alternate scene is shown with Alan heading in the house and Jake preparing to go to Celeste's house with his guitar wearing shorts and a T-shirt. The scene ends with Angus T. Jones bursting in to laughter. This is Tinashe's last appearance on Two and a Half Men.

Charlie schedules a colonoscopy to get out of visiting Chelsea's parents, Tom and Martha, in Illinois, but Chelsea figures out he was lying and flies them in instead. During a night drinking with Chelsea's father, Charlie and Alan learn that he is gay and in love with an African-American war-buddy of his. Chelsea then overhears her mother and father arguing about the situation; the two then break up.

Alan ends up in jail after a bar fight and Charlie worries that Chelsea might be interested in Alans' lawyer, Brad (Steven Eckholdt), who takes the case, because he claims to be a family man, and horse range charity-founder. Brad invites Chelsea and Charlie to his charity event, but Charlie decides not to go, leaving him to wonder if Chelsea is cheating on him.

Charlie becomes worried and jealous after Chelsea is late returning from a charity event with Brad. When Chelsea does return, she and Charlie argue and Chelsea leaves, and Charlie drowns his sorrows repeatedly. Chelsea later asks Charlie to meet her for coffee; during this meeting, Charlie throws up on a woman's baby, leaving Chelsea to postpone the wedding. Evelyn comforts Charlie, but adds that most people throw up on their own babies, rather than other peoples.

After Chelsea breaks up with him, a depressed Charlie takes a trip to Las Vegas and returns home with a new wife. Charlie then finds out that his new "wife" is already married, and her husband says that her getting married is a regular occurrence, which he tolerates because she's a lot hotter than he is. Charlie then spends some time with Chelsea's father, Tom, and his new boyfriend, Ed. John Amos guest stars as Chelsea's father's boyfriend. Katy Mixon guest stars as Charlie's temporary Vegas wife, Betsy; Mixon appears to be playing the same role she had in "Untainted by Filth".

Chelsea has started dating Brad. Charlie stalks her with the help of Alan, and after having a post-breakup one-night stand, the two are left re-thinking about if it was right for them to break up. Charlie tries to win her back, and takes relationship advice from her father and his boyfriend; Charlie tells Alan he likes having him live at the house which brings Alan to tears of happiness.

Charlie runs into Chelsea's friend Gail (Tricia Helfer) and has sex with her, but then learns that Chelsea is having problems with Brad. Meanwhile Alan finds himself able to pleasure a female patient just by giving her a back massage but worries he's becoming a sort of gigolo due to the large amounts of cash that the women is paying him; and Jake has a new haircut that he got because of his new girlfriend. Charlie later meets Chelsea for coffee and tells her that he slept with Gail, causing Chelsea to angrily storm off. She later comes round his house to apologize but again storms off after finding out that Gail is still there in Charlie's bedroom.

Jake's new friend, Eldridge (Graham Patrick Martin), proves to be a bad influence when he talks Jake into stealing beer from Charlie, getting drunk and sneaking out when grounded. Charlie catches Jake sneaking out, but lets him off the hook after Jake and his friends felicitate Charlie on the current jingle he'd written. Alan plans to have a word with Eldridge's mother, Lyndsey (Courtney Thorne-Smith), but ends up falling for her and the two later make the most of a trip to a bar.

Absent: Jennifer Bini Taylor as Chelsea.

First appearance of: Eldridge MacElroy, Lyndsey MacElroy

After being interrupted at Lyndsey's house by her son, Eldridge, Alan tries for an intimate night at a hotel with her, but nothing goes as planned due to the fact Lyndsey suffers a bad period, and Alan gets an upset stomach. Meanwhile, Charlie tries to get the "girlfriend experience" from a prostitute, Jasmine (Elizabeth Ho), by having her and himself act as a real couple with real problems.

Absent: Jennifer Bini Taylor as Chelsea.

Charlie finds himself with insomnia, and is given prescription marijuana by his pharmacist (Martin Mull) to help him sleep. After smoking it with Berta, Charlie has disturbing visions of women from his past; Alan and Jake drive to Sacramento to pick up a valuable antique grandfather clock left to Alan by Judith's recently deceased grandfather. While riding home in the car, the clock falls out of Alan's trunk and smashes in to pieces, making his and Jake's trip futile. ZZ Top guest star as themselves.

Jake is driving Charlie around when he runs a red light at Charlie's urging, and is pulled over by police, causing Jake to panic. He and Charlie switch seats so that it appears Charlie was driving, and as a result, Charlie loses his license due to several unpaid traffic violations and failure to show up in court, forcing him to rely on Jake to drive him around. Alan goes to Chelsea's birthday party, and Charlie sends Jake in too so that he can give her a forgotten gift. After being given the gift Chelsea leaves in an upset fit and finds Charlie being arrested for crashing into a police car.